The Pressure of doing “The Next Big Thing”

Hello my lovelies! Happy Tuesday, I took the long weekend to have a little me time before the thick of school began and also to of course have a little Manny time. For those of you who didn’t know I’m an education and english major. If anyone know’s anything about what the education department is like, or at least the one in my school you know 2 things

  1. It’s 99% filled with females
  2. 99.9% of them have wedding and baby fever

 

Now I’m not sure if the two are correlated, if being an education major means you’re more prone to having wedding and baby fever but I can say this: There is this undeniable pressure for ” the next big thing”.

 

I’d like to think I’m outside of it, but the truth is that a few girls are married, others are looking at rings or getting engaged, one is even trying for a baby and I can’t help but feel like “hurry up Ana you’re falling behind”.  And the funny thing is, I’m not!

 

Life moves at a different pace for everyone and at 21 I’m in no place to consider getting married (when I can’t even afford rent right now) or having a baby (I’m still learning how to take care of myself!). Most of the girls are older in my class anyway so it’s a bit funny that I feel this pressure existing. But I think we all do.

 

We all feel like as soon as we hit “adulthood” it’s time to pack it up and follow the steps of marriage, house, kids, etc.  And the truth is we don’t. There is nowhere in the book of life that says we HAVE to do these things.

 

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Now do I want a wedding… yes.

Do I want one right now?

No.

Maybe in like 5,6,7 years or so, sure. I always said I wouldn’t get married until I was financially stable and therefore able to afford a wedding, rent and not be afraid of eating Ramen noodles every night.

Also, keep in mind that your 20’s are a big time for change and allow yourself the space and grace to have that. Enjoy dating your partner, because you only get to do that for a bit and then it’s on to the next step. And even though I personally believe in marriage and the sanctity in it doesn’t mean you have to or anyone else must. It’s a very personal decision.

 

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Kids?

I use to think I had to have kids by 28 because I wanted to be “done” parenting at a young age to have the rest of my life to do things, which is kind of crazy right? Shouldn’t you think of parenting as a never ending commitment out of love, not a sentence of 18 years?

So although I love kids and I really wouldn’t mind having my own, I just don’t think I’m there yet. And that’s ok if you’re in the same boat. As women we feel like it’s our “duty” to pop out babies, and biologically yes we can fulfill that duty and we even get some bodily cravings for it. But if mentally you’re not prepared or don’t see yourself fit don’t give in because you can’t see any other way of living.

 

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Live your life & love your life.

It’s not a race to the finish line. Find what makes you happy and keep doing that. Hold onto that. Don’t let anyone tell you you need to do otherwise because it isn’t true. This is YOUR life.  You may or may not live it only once, so why not make the most? Feel the most? Do the most?

 

Until next time
xoxo,

Ana

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