Hello my lovelies! Your eyes aren’t deceiving you, yes the title is correct.
But Ana, what happened to you wanting to become a writer?
I’ll get to to that.
Let’s *pause* for a moment…
First let me tell you all about this new position! I accepted an offer to teach in a nearby Title I school district. I’m taking over as a 7th and 8th grade Special Education Teacher. Which is completely insane! My certificate is in early childhood and I have an endorsement for special education. Meaning I technically can teach any grade from pre-school to senior year in high school in a special education context. Whereas in general ed I’m limited to p-3.
Long story short I never in a million years saw myself in a middle school setting.
I never thought my first teaching job would be in a self-contained room.
I’m a nervous ball of neuroticism. But excited as hell for what’s to come and to have some purpose and direction.
Following me still?
What happened to writing?
It’s kind of a funny story really. I’ve wanted to become a “writer” since about the 4th grade. As I applied to more and more content creation jobs and interviewed at various publications I found a steady pattern occuring. A push for content, a push for speed, a push for mass production. While I highly admire and am a consumer of this “fast fashion” content. I realized it might not be for me. I didn’t want to consistently push my brain to come up with articles like ” 5 Signs you should dye your hair purple this spring”.
I’m not minimizing that work either. I highly admire anyone who can work with such speed, consistency and efficiency. It isn’t easy and has it’s own set of highs and lows. I just realized that after doing it day in and day out, what would I have left for me?What would I have left in my tank for art?
The worst part is that for a lot of companies your writing isn’t even yours to keep. The intellectual rights could very well belong to them which means you might not have any clips to take with you, but most importantly the idea you created isn’t yours and you can never use it outside of the company.
Something about that rubs me the wrong way. It feels too Big Brother-ish.
So when I got this job offer something just fell over me. I reflected on the last 5 months post graduation and saw a pattern. I went for the “glory” of working in NYC, of being a big shot writer or content creator and it ended up falling flat or out of my hands.
I took a second and thought that maybe this was the universe going “Hey Ana, I keep giving you these teaching jobs you keep turning down… Maybe you should take this”
Plus, student loans were knocking and my empty pockets were not jiggling with any extra cash.
Needless to say, normally I’d be wracked with uncertainty and go back and forth with what decision to make. This time however, it was a slow but easy yes. It just felt….right.
And the funny thing is that after I accepted this offer 2 other teaching jobs opened up in an early childhood setting which I thought had long been filled. So clearly this was just meant to fall in my lap when it did, how it did and I’m just going to take it all in stride.
So are you giving up on being a writer?
Not a fat chance.
I plan on freelancing and sending in articles to different publications. I applied to a few positions looking for millenial writers to write like monthly newsletters. I plan on publishing my book some time this year. I plan on writing a novel to submit to bonafied publisher one day.
Just because it isn’t my full time job doesn’t mean I’m giving up or quitting. I still have this blog right?
I know I talked a lot about never giving up, and giving your dreams a fair shot. And I really do feel like I did. I even had 2 offers for NY, but ultimately it just didn’t feel like the right path. And I’m ok with that. I have the rest of my life to go down that path again if I so choose. The internet isn’t going any where and neither am I.
My blog isn’t named Figuring Out My Ever After for no reason. I really stand behind this being my documentation of how I’m growing, how I’m evolving and giving anyone up and coming into adulthood a real authentic view of what it means to be in your 20s figuring it all out. Because *surprise* no adult has all their ducks in a row. They just pretend they do.
Well I’m not here to pretend. But I am here to share and lend a hand.